Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents' by Lindsay C. Gibson is a self-help book that delves into the complexities of healing from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents. Readers commend the book for shedding light on attachment issues, childhood trauma, toxic parenting, and the impact of neglectful parenting on shaping one's personality into adulthood. The book is praised for offering insights into relational patterns, emotional maturity, and the struggle to find and maintain healthy relationships.
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Sensitive Topics/Content Warnings
Content warnings for the book include discussions of childhood trauma, emotional abuse, and the impact of toxic family dynamics.
From The Publisher:
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent's behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you'll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:
The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety
The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone
The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting
The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
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4 comment(s)
This hit too close to home a lot. I learned that I'm an internalizer, my mother, and someone else I care about. Meanwhile, my father and my ex-best friend were/are externalizers; it seems like the latter led to personality disorders after being raised by emotionally immature parents. I'm trying to break the cycle, although I'm unsure who I am beyond being a people-pleaser, etc. The book asked me to remember who I was before 4th grade, almost 30 years ago. I have no idea who that person was.
Thankfully, the parent, who was emotionally immature with a personality disorder, passed last year, so I no longer have to contend with him. I'm glad I don't because it seems he caused me a significant amount of trauma. This book made me wish I'd had a better father. It also hurt to realize that my role-self isn't uncommon; this makes me feel less like a person and more like a stock character.
I can understand why my therapist assigned it to me. It was sometimes hard to read; I had to pick it up and put it back down. I think I highlighted at least 50 different things.
Still, I prefer my fantasy novels, thanks.
Self help books are always a take what you need, I think the chapter on externalizing and internalizing was the best one for me. This book really fell apart with the bullet list of traits for 4 overarching types of neglectful parents to identify if your parents are emotionally immature or not.
I would also wonder about how to address those situations yourself to avoid that situation in the future. You just perpetuate the cycle otherwise.
This book really helped me understand certain people I am related too.
I wish I was able to connect with the author more, the writing was too authoritative. The message was good in the beginning but as time went, it was too droning that it was starting to lull me to sleep.
Powered through the audiobook, good content, I would recommend it if you are a child of such parents and want more insight.
What can you read after
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents?
About the Author:
Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is author of Who You Were Meant to Be and writes a monthly column on well-being for Tidewater Women magazine. In the past she has served as an adjunct assistant professor of graduate psychology for the College of William and Mary, as well as for Old Dominion University. Gibson lives and practices in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
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