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It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

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'It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand' by Megan Devine is a heartfelt exploration of grief and loss through the lens of the author's personal experience and professional expertise. Devine, a therapist who tragically lost her partner, eloquently articulates the complex emotions of grief in a relatable and accessible manner. offers a blend of personal stories, practical advice, and writing prompts, making it a valuable resource for those navigating the turbulent waters of grief.

Readers commend the book for its realistic and practical approach to grief, providing insights on the individual nature of grieving and emphasizing the importance of self-care and understanding. Devine's writing style is described as human, graceful, and devoid of the typical cliches often found in self-help books, offering a comforting and validating space for readers to explore their own grief journeys.

Writing/Prose:

The writing style is approachable, blending personal experiences with practical advice in a heartfelt manner.

Plot/Storyline:

The narrative delves into the complexities of grief and presents a compassionate, honest perspective on coping with loss.

Setting:

The setting of the book is universal, focusing on the shared human experience of grief rather than a specific geographic context.

Pacing:

Pacing is steady, allowing readers to absorb and reflect on the complex emotions associated with grief.
Time has stopped. Nothing feels real. Your mind cannot stop replaying the events, hoping for a different outcome. The ordinary, everyday world that others still inhabit feels coarse and cruel. You can...

Notes:

The book offers universal insights for anyone experiencing grief.
It highlights the importance of acknowledgment and love in the grieving process.
Megan Devine provides a broader definition of grief and addresses common platitudes and their effects.
Readers can find practical exercises for managing grief in the book.
The appendix contains rules for supporting a grieving friend.
Megan Devine's personal experience with loss informs her writing and approach to grief.
The book offers a compassionate and honest perspective on grief, challenging societal expectations.
It's recommended for those looking for validation in their grief experience.
Devine's writing resonates deeply with readers, offering relatable emotions and explanations.
The book includes writing prompts and self-care advice for those grieving.
There's a website, Refuge in Grief, that provides additional support related to the book.
Many readers have found the book comforting in their darkest times, helping them feel less alone in their grief.

Sensitive Topics/Content Warnings

Content warnings include discussions of death, loss, and the emotional challenges associated with grief, which may be triggering for some readers.

From The Publisher:

As seen in THE NEW YORK TIMES

READER'S DIGEST

SPIRITUALITY & HEALTH

HUFFPOST

Featured on NPR's RADIO TIMES and WISCONSIN PUBLIC RADIO

When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. "Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form," says Megan Devine. "It is a natural and sane response to loss."

So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible?

In It's OK That You're Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides-as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner-Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you'll learn:


Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief


How challenging the myths of grief-doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold-allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve


Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain


How to help the people you love-with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process

Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face-in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world.

It's OK That You're Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves-and each other-better.

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About the Author:

Megan Devine is a writer, speaker, and advocate for emotional change on a cultural level. She holds a master's in counseling psychology. Since the tragic loss of her partner in 2009, Megan has emerged as a bold new voice in the world of grief support. Her contributions via her site Refuge in Grief have helped create sanctuary for those in pain and encouragement for those who want to help. For more, visit refugeingrief.com.

Mark Nepo is a poet and philosopher who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over 35 years. ANew York Times#1 bestselling author, he has published numerous books-including The Book of Soul, The One Life We're Given, and Drinking from the River of Light-and recorded multiple audio projects.

Mark has been interviewed three times by Oprah Winfrey as part of herSoul Seriesradio show, and was interviewed by Robin Roberts onGood Morning America. As a cancer survivor, Mark devotes his writing and teaching to the journey of inner transformation and the life of relationship. Mark's work is widely accessible and used in spiritual retreats, healing and medical communities, and more. His work has been translated into 20 languages, and he continues to offer readings, lectures, and retreats.

 
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